Chicken missionary

I want to tell some funny stories in the blog because this is what the Lord is asking me to do today for Sabbath 

I will star with what I think is the funniest 

I want to preface this story with I know I need to learn Spanish. During orientation in Guatemala we learned that the local transportation was called “chicken buses” but only to foreigners. Guatemalans just called them “bus”. To get on a chicken bus simply stand on the side of the road and stick out your hand, and when you want to get back to the base tell them “misiones” and they know where to take you. I was very confident in this. So we leave the gates from the base and are standing on the side of the road waiting for a bus, for about 10 minutes I have my arm stuck out saying “pollo pollo pollo” which is Spanish for chicken. I was just goofing off it was only 3 of us foreigners. We get on the bus and head to the next town over for some coffee. A few hours and we are on our way to find another chicken bus to take us back to the base. We see a Guatemalan we know and ask where the bus stop is and he points us in the direction and says just stand on the corner and wait. So we do, I stick my hand out and say “pollo misiones, pollo misiones, pollo misiones”. A security officer comes over and ask if we need to cross the street, I say no. And I think for a second and say “pollo misiones?” She just laughs, flags down a van pushes us on it and says something in Spanish. 

There is a really funny guy on our squad and I am sad he is not on my team keeping me laughing the next 5 weeks. His name is Banks and he uses Brother Google Translate like the rest of us and so on the first night of meeting a group of Guatemalans he introduces himself as “Banco” which is bank in Spanish. I hear him tell someone his name and I thought he was saying ”Blanco” but he was indeed saying Banco. At training camp we were all sleeping under the pavilion one night and airing out our tents and all of the next three quotes happened in less than like 10 minutes so we were all dying laughing. He unzips his tent and says “it’s bedtime for bonzo” lays down and says “this thing is flatter than a flutter” referencing how flat his sleeping pad is and a few minutes later “there is seriously a dead spider carcass in here”. He also says “I’m upstaaaiiirrs” a lot to reference growing up when his mom would ask him to do something and he would say “but mom im upstaaaiiirrs” to get out of whatever the request was. I love Blanco Banco and can’t wait to see you in 5 weeks Banks! 

The last funny story I will tell is the first day of ministry we did in Peten included a parachute with plastic balls. Jakson and myself were in charge of facilitating this activity and it was fun. It was especially fun to watch the moms faces light up and the kids be so excited about picking up the balls. But what was not fun is this what picture came of it. You see there was only one level on the parachute and it was to go as fast as you could and use all of your strength – I was just trying to hold a part of the parachute that was ripping on the seem so I was holding it with all my might. But it was scary because there was balls flying right for my face but I couldn’t let go or the parachute would rip. This picture surfaced at dinner and my phone started blowing up with people sending it to me. So here is an updated picture of me. If you would like to keep up to date and did not receive and email for this blog – comment your email below and I will subs you! Also if you would like to continue supporting a missionary and offset the cost of living necessities or buy a coffee while out doing ministry my venmo is alyssanphllps