While I was in Albania I became really really bad at communicating with my friends who were not right in front of me, and most would argue that I even lacked communication with those who did sit in front of me and asked how I was. As a joke, through a text message thread with Jordan Bryce, I was asked to write a book of how I was doing. So I did, and it started this entire saga of short books that I wrote and continued to send off how I was doing over the next several weeks.
Looking back and reading these make me giggle a little inside. The broken child of God I was, desperate for a touch and not knowing how soon it would come. Thankful for a Father who is always who He says He is, who keeps His promises, and who shows a love that is unconditional.
I didn’t know at the time that this fast would quite literally change the trajectory of my race, how I viewed God, and how I would soon go about life.
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How is she?
A story of how Alyssa actually is doing 3.0
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank my dear friends and family who did not read nor comment on segments on this book, as I am a private person. Their encouragement and advice is invaluable. I especially would like to thank two people for their extensive feedback when I needed it most.
Without a doubt, one of the greatest blessings of this book is the input from many amazing minds. I am indebted to so many friends and many others for their heartfelt words and insightful contributions that are not even in the book. I am blessed beyond belief to even know them, let alone to consider all of them my friends.
To all my friends and family who took mark in the shaping and support of this book, your help is inexpressibly appreciated. I pray the Lord will repay you all in kind.
Introduction
Greetings, dear friend!
The pages that follow contain my personal thoughts and most powerful memories, my very heart poured out on ink and paper. By reading this book, you will enter into the circle of my family and friends, take part in the final days here in Kotodesh, and struggle with me through the hard things of being an existent to this world.
By looking over my shoulder, you will be privy to the hard and good things in my life, begin struggling with the historical facts of my life, and feel the ground that shook beneath me as I slowly learned the hidden truths about the Lord.
By reading my personal journal entries, you will see how our Father finally called me to Jesus through visions and dreams, and the ensuing metamorphosis of my very self, induced by the Holy Spirit.
By reading this testimony, you will travel with me through life and know me intimately, becoming a dear friend indeed.
THE PURPOSE OF THIS BOOK
But this book is more than just my testimony. It is designed with three purposes in mind:
- To tear down the walls between me and you, for you to gain a better understanding of what is going on inside of this spaghetti formed brain of mine.
- To equip you with facts and knowledge
- To portray how I am actually doing
HOW TO READ THIS BOOK
Carefully, quickly, and in private. Don’t think too much about it.
BENEDICTION
I pray the Lord’s blessing be upon you, not just as you read through this book but also as you implement what you learn and pursue Him and His people. May God, our Lord and Savior, who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, work through you for His glory by spreading His joyous truth, which is salvation and eternal life for all who believe and follow Jesus. May He impact the world through you, my dear friend, reaching those who are lost and desperately need Him, even my family and friends. May He do this by continually reforming us into His image, one of grace and truth, and by a miraculous outpouring of His Holy Spirit. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Contents
Chapter 1: so many questions
Chapter 2: seeking the truth
Chapter 3: bitter honey
CHAPTER 1
I know I have questioned God more on the Race than ever before in my life.
Is He truly sovereign? Is he actually a good God? Does He have a caring heart for His people? Will He actually save His people from this corrupt sin filled world? Does God know His children by name? Is His word true and living and alive today?
I still do not know. These are all things I have said in the past and I believed it then so it must be true today.
My faith is wavering, but I still stand firm on the foundation of the Gospel. The Gospel is good news today.
CHAPTER 2
After all the questions and ill thoughts I have had about my own Father, the One who created me, He still chose to speak.
I know my thoughts are not my own and are from the Lord.
Revelations.
Stop eating breakfast.
Eliminate sugar.
Delete your social media.
Learn about my people you will go and minister to for the rest of your race.
Intercede.
Bitter coffee then honey, before you read My word.
All thoughts I had in my head.
All thoughts from the Lord.
A fast would be too hard here, I am in a village with no civilization – I need to be connected to the outside world somehow. Not eating breakfast makes me blood sugar drop and I start to feel sick by noon. I can’t have cokes? No chance. Revelations? I have read through it so many times it would be of no benefit. I know about the Muslims, they are everywhere here and their faith is fake. They aren’t even “true” Muslims, they claim it for the benefit of the government. I was reminded of the words “for the rest of your race” I knew this wasn’t for here and now.
When I said no I was convicted.
So I said yes.
I started a 22 day fast reading through Revelations, fasting breakfast, not eating processed sugars, I deleted my social media, and I will continue to intercede.
I believe the Lord confirmed my heart for the Islamic faith. I do not know what this will look like in the future but I am believing for this fast to be fruitful of answers I am seeking from the Lord.
And if not, He is still good.
CHAPTER 3
Bitter coffee then honey – before you read my word.
Honey is big in Jewish custom as a reminder of how sweet the Word of the Lord is. When a Jewish child is learning the Torah they will put honey on the words and the child will lick the pages happily and they will continue to remember the word of the Lord is delightful and sweet.
I was reminded of this and sat in awe of the Lord.
So every morning I will wake up and make a cup of bitter black coffee take a drink, have a spoon of honey and then will I read the sweet and delightful Word of the Lord.
I am praying for the fruit of this fast to be revealed.
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I wrote a blog about the outcome of this fast – Dead people that say we are alive
After this whole situation happened I have some pretty deeps thoughts on how I believe that repentance is a forgotten spiritual discipline. The first thing the Gospel of Mark records of Jesus’ ministry is this “Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the Gospel of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe the Gospel.’”
