You always saw the good in others more than you saw in yourself. You were always the first to discount your efforts. The classic over-thinker, second guessing relationships, and wondering if you were a good enough friend, sister, and daughter. Little did you know that every person who orbited around you loved you. You were a handful to love, but you were worth every single ounce of that love. We joked about cracking your code but never realized you just wanted to be known for who you were. You had accepted who I had made you to be and you didn’t want suggestions on how you could’ve changed. People who knew you, loved you deeply. You often felt misunderstood, you wanted to know people deeply but struggled to let people know you in the same depth. People desired to know you, but you never let them – often scared the information you shared would be used to your disadvantage in that friendship. I can not blame you for that, you had been hurt one to many times. I witnessed first hand the amount of struggle and trauma you went through and you knew you had to turn your life around and so you did. After chasing the too often buzz from the liquor and cigarettes, and the comfort of friends and familiarity for many years; it wasn’t easy to leave but you did it anyways. That was you with a lot of things – no matter how hard it was you did the task and you walked away without murmuring a complaint, and without wanting any recognition. You could never receive a compliment and often crawled back into your own skin when something good was mentioned about you, I am thankful to have known it was only because you wanted people to see Me inside of you instead of yourself. You were often told you did too much, or you don’t receive help when you only wanted people to take initiative in what they saw needed to be done. You were not big on confrontation but you were quick to forgive anyone who ever wronged you, and hoped that you were forgiven to. You felt strongly about all the less than favorable things that happened to the people you loved. You felt a lot for everyone in your life. You lived the adventurous life you always wanted, pursuing your dreams until the very end. You may not have achieved everything you set out to but one thing is for sure – you tried, and that is commendable. You never wanted to be in one place for too long, you never settled down and you never got a college degree but at many points you were the smartest person in the room with the most useless knowledge that no one needed to know. You were smarter than you gave yourself credit for – often commenting how you couldn’t remember anything or your brain didn’t have the capacity for this or that, when in all reality you were filled with Truth. You knew the Bible from when you read it in your childhood bedroom, seeking out to find the truth of this life at the age of 12. You walked in the darkness for many years, but finally found the Light. Even in some of the darkest places you continued to seek the Light. You never settled for contentment and often sought out the hard things in life. Your life was one full of happiness and honesty, hope and laughter, curiosity and often misspelled words, but most importantly your life was one of comfort; knowing that this world was indeed not your home. You prayed that your life and even your death would bring glory back to my Kingdom, my dear friend it’s bringing multitudes to the feet of Jesus.
Author: General Posts | | by alyssaphillips
